Wednesday, 13 October 2010

EDITORIAL: Suit Up, Win Games, Be Awesome

Ahoyhoy internets, it's your favourite lifestyle guru and mixology extraordinaire; the one, the only, the Howitzer here once again, wishing you a very happy first annual International Suit Up Day. To celebrate this momentous occassion in our history, I felt that today should be all about the debonair, the successful and the down right awesome. So with that in mind my dearest readers today we will talk about The Gamer.

-disclaimer: This article is tongue in cheek, so please don't take it too seriously.-

We all know or have been "that guy" in the gaming group. Sweaty, unclean band tee-shirts, the unwashed 2ft long hair, the famous "gamerstench" following you around in a kind of teenage green cloud. Why is The Gamer like this? I think we can pinpoint it down to three main reasons:

1) A lack of self esteem or confidence

2) A lack of ethic to change or make things better in his/her life.

3) A lust for knowledge about their own certain gaming pursuit in the hope that through that they can attain the prestige/acknowledgement that they crave and probably deserve.

So internets, I know I make a bit of a song and dance about the HIMYM -praise be Saint Stinson- lifestyle but that is both tongue in cheek -to raise the kind of campness/undeserved sense of achievement of this blog - and a serious statement. As I have said in a previous article, we gamers are mostly categoriesed socially as smelly metalheads who will grow up to live in their mother's basement and never feel the gentle touch of the opposite sex .-or know- So in writing CSNS I consciously made the decision to promote the "opposite" idea of the gamer, a successful, well dressed, finely refined human being. So in honour of this tremendous day let's explore that side of what a gamer can be.

-on a serious note guys, this is part funny part an actual observation. I see people every day who were like me or countless other gamers I know, showing that lack of confidence and general idleness when it comes to changing that. Whilst this article aims to make you laugh, I hope in some funny way it can help someone with a lack of confidence to come out of that typical "The Gamer" steriotype and help themselves become a bit more successful at life AND in the game-

Step 1: Get Self Confidence Back

Lession 1: Lose the Goatee it doesn't go with your suit

Lesson 2: Get a suit...suits are cool.

Meet The Gamer:
Note, the sad eyes, unkep appearance and the unzipped fly...
The Gamer is an unhappy chap. There are perhaps many reasons for this including but not limited to; being bullied at an earlier age, social inadequacy, death of a loved one, departure of a loved one (girlfriend, parent etc), worries about appearance. Getting that knock to the confidence early can mean bad things as time progresses so what YOU, Mr Gamer needs to do is to re-invent yourself. You may find this difficult I do admit but in my mind part of the reason you are stuck in a rut is because you crae that love/attention that you were starved of but don't know how to get it.

Well I have news for you sir.
"What news Mr DaveHowitzer man?"
To get out of a rut you have to do something big. -not like...crazy cutting off a testicle- SUIT UP

-disclaimer; now as you know I'm an advocate of suiting up, and for the rest of this article I will be using it as a term to describe a change in appearance aka. dressing in a suit. However if you feel a suit isn't you YOU ARE WRONG a suit is for everyone-
-further disclaimer: seriously though, if you don;t fancy suiting up, just start small, maybe with a plain white tee shirt? Cut that long hair? Wash?-
-further, further disclaimer; seriously though...suits...-

Note, the awesome.
Now a simple change of clothes and 5 minutes spent on hygene and appearance have turned out Gamer into something comepletely different. He is still into Metallica, still into 40k, still into anime, but now will not be thrown out of a fancy cocktail bar or raise eyebrows walking past -well..thats a lie, but they will be raised in a totally awesome way ;)     catch my drift-
This isn't about changing YOU, no-one should change to suit everybody else. This is about being confident enough to go out and strut your stuff and say, "You know what, maybe I'm not as bad at this as I thought."

Be confident, be happy. Be the devastatingly handsome guy you actually are!

Step 2: Get That Work Ethic Back...and get off the internet you dumb ****

Ok this next step is twofold; first is getting that ethic to change your life/habbits for the better and the second is how much pride you have in yourself and your lifestyle. Let's deal with the work ethic first.

By a work ethic I mean having the drive to do something that will change how you work, and in that I suppose I mean taking pride in you, your space at home and -regarding wargaming here- taking pride in your hobby. Playing a game is NOT a shameful thing. Everyone has a hobby, you are no different than that guy who goes home and plays FIFA or the guy that goes and plays Basketball. It's all what we do to enjoy ourselves so take some pride in what you do. First thing's first, your gaming area. Say "Hey" to The Gamer again:

"Why does this internet guy hate me so?"
He is sad very sad, because look at where he plays his games and reads on awesome blogs and forums all the kewl new shizzle about the game he loves. It's a tip!

Organization is what you need my friend! Sometimes something as simple as a tidy up can be the key to getting that motivation to do something awesome. I tell you seeing wood is a great thing. -the wood on the desk...obviously...-

Note the cleanliness, the cocktail shaker and the bible...
We can translate that further into his army! Look at this:

Black/Grey unpainted models. Now some people say, "If I want to play with that I can." I don't disagree with that, I think if you want to play an unpainted army that's fine. However, in my mind you can't take much pride in it. You are playing an unpainted army because you are playing for the win, not because you enjoy the army, Mr Flavour-of-the-month. Now some might say you play with an unpainted army because you don't have time to paint and you are CORRECT to say that. The difference is however you, Mr Busy have started painting it and should (and hopefully are) doing just as much as you can, maybe even a model a week. Even though you have very little time you are PAINTING your army, and in terms of pride, that is on a par with playing a PAINTED army.'s a legal army...
Try it, seriously, I think you'll feel a lot of pride in your force. And if you have pride in it, you will play better because you care that the unit you spent 10hours on will get blown off the table if you don't play it tactically. You care enough about your models not to drop them in a lunchbox after the game. It's all about caring you see, and the pride you get from knowing you did a damn good job.

However. This does NOT give you the right to be an ass. You must balance your newfound confidence and pride in what you do with restraint. Come on who really want's to alienate friends, not because you are a gamergeek, but because you are, "that guy who thinks he's better than everyone".

Step 3: Researchabaloo = Hellz no

Now lets quickly deal with the blogsphere. As you all know fromt he likes of Twitter/Facebook and our lovely Gaming Blogsphere many, many hours of the day can be spent in front of the screen. Now that's fine. But moderation guys. How can you possibly go out and meet your friends (or members of the opposite sex) if you are constantly online. Look, it's driven The Gamer insane!

So maybe go down, see the folks for an hour or two, watch some telly. Go meet the guys at the bar for the evening. Go meet that special lady you've been after for some coffee -but don't meet for coffee because that sucks, meet her at a dance club, which is awesome-.  It can be as simple as sitting down and reading a good book.

Do you need any more?
Finding time for the hobby is hard, but with that in mind don't overload your time with the hobby either. You can know everything there is to know about the hobby and that's all well and good, but don't go over it all in triplicate, and even worse don't bring up precisely the date and time that Magnus the Red had his first daemonic poo in the presence of people who don't know the game. When discussing the game you play outside of your circle, be dead simple with it; "Yeah, it's kinda like Risk combined with Halo and Chess." Simple. Not: "YEAH, Like the Emperor, this amazing superhuman shaman guy like rules Earth and..."

Final Thoughts:

The Successful Gamer is Successful
Guys, I'm not going to preach about how to live your life, God knows I'm not perfect. This article as all tongue in cheek at the end of the day, but when you see some of the guys that we play with, you can't help but feel a little sad about it. These are great guys we know, yet they lack that confidence about them to get out in the real world. So, for those of you, my timid friends I issue you a challenge. Suit up. Score Chicks. Win Games.

Be Awesome.

Love, Dave


  1. Are you The Girl?

    I mean, really? :P

    Seriously, it's a good article, but I think you do come off a bit too... strong, especially on the categorising of the gamer. I mean, I used to be that band tee guy. But not it's dull-ish colours and shirts mostly. Even the long hair is going soon.

    And not in a male pattern baldness way. But that is happening >:.

    However you do have a point. To a lot of people gaming is an escapist hobby for those that do have... not social problems but they don't fit into "regular society". Personally I have no problem with that, as I find they're usually the best people. [=. I dunno, it's difficult to stereotype, as a lot of the time they're incorrect.

    P.s. You look like someone just farted in the same room as you in the last photo. The photos in general are fantastic.

  2. Awesome stuff, I approve.

    As a recovering gamer geek, I can definitely get behind this.

    I would also add "Get a Job" and "Hit the Gym" as additions to not just improving your gaming life (more monies for dollies, being able to beat up TFG) but your life overall as well.

  3. Its just meant to be fun tbh mate. I'm making fun of steriotypes because I was one as you well know. I guess in my way it's a tongue in cheek way of saying goodbye to the part of me that was described in the article. But I think you completely missed the ACTUAL point in the article Billy.
    Its not about fitting into regular society. Its about self empowerment. Further I don't believe for a second a band tee wearing geek can't fit into regular society.

  4. Ahhh I think I misjudged your angle then. And I got the self empowerment bit. :L

  5. Great article. We've all been there, or are there, and like Chumby can nod our head in complete understanding or, in the case of the latter, laugh a little at yourself and take some advice.

  6. Nice article there sir. I approve of the Suiting Up and all that it entails.

  7. No folks, ---I--- am the Girl, and I haven't hit this topic on my Weekly Whimsy yet.

    Dave, this is a riot. I adore it and agree. I happen to be married to The Dude, who took the "Suit Up" advice a little too far - but in a good way. (He has more clothes than I do! How's that work?)

    Keep on with your awesome, Dave. Can't wait to see more.

  8. Guys all the comments you've given me have been a real boost! I appreciate it and I'm glad I can make you laugh.

    I'll keep it up as long as you're reading it.

  9. I'm so suiting up for my next game.

  10. Well Dave

    Article is fine, just one niggle , I have long hair ...... the hair is going nowhere I can assure you.

    In the past i have worked for some pretty big companies and a bunch of guys in management have long hair these days. If you are good enough at your job you don't need to worry about conformity these days.

    I do however own a suit , its awesome, however it is deliriously uncomfortable and rather impractical for anything other than sitting at a desk or interviews, and don't get me started on the exotic torture that is 'the shoes'

    cheers for an interesting read

  11. Tidy Ponytail well maintained is very acceptable and a better fitted suit will sort your day =P

  12. I had long hair for a good many years too. I washed it and kept it trimmed whereas Dave is calling out those who don't. There's a few guys at the LGS with long hair, one I'm sure washes it, the other I'm not so sure about, but neither has probably seen scissors since they began growing it out and it's just a big frizzy mess that looks like shit. It's a matter of taking pride in your appearance regardless of your style choice.

  13. That's exactly what I'm getting at Thor

  14. Wonderful article, Dave. I'd just like to add that a well-fitted suit makes all difference as it will both look great and should even be comfortable to wear. A poorly fitted suit will not do much for one's awesomeness. I really enjoyed reading this, thanks!

  15. Howie... I actually had no idea you did this. WHY DID I NOT KNOW!?
    And I loved this article... Reminds me of constant rants I've had at Alex, Adam and Kyle :)

  16. I often play 40k in my local store on my way back from work wearing a suit, tie and waistcoat (I'm a lawyer). Get some funny looks sometimes....


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